• Apply our unique blend of coconut extracts daily to trim 1.5 inches from your thighs in 4 weeks. - Coconut Sculpting Cream (Magazine advertisement)

• Get six-pack abs in 3 weeks! All it takes is 2 minutes a day. – Tummy Glider Fitness Equipment (National television commercial)

• Thanks to Dr. Sketchy's Miracle Potion, I dropped pounds eating cake and ice cream every day. – Janet C. from Maine lost 119 pounds in 6 weeks. (Infomercial)

Product advertisements claiming to help you lose weight, sleep better, increase endurance, and basically make you superhuman are everywhere. It's the supporting evidence that's often weak or mysteriously absent. But what if...

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National – For Urgent Release

Every False Claim Is Actually True, According to Recent Ads

October 22, 2019 □ 9:18 AM ET
By Rebecca Reporter

In a move to gain the respect and admiration of millions of consumers, a panel of top executives representing major product manufacturers, national magazines, and television networks came clean during a news conference on Tuesday. As it turns out, slick marketing copy, witty television commercials, and outlandish product claims were never intended to tell the public the whole truth.

But, by a "remarkable coincidence", every unbelievable, amazingly outrageous weight loss claim of the past 20 years is actually true. The panel confirmed that weight loss is as easy as taking a pill, rubbing on cream, or wearing a patch.

"We are excited to announce that even when we were wrong, we were right," said one senior magazine executive. "Of course, we never really knew if these highly biased advertised claims were true, but now it doesn't matter. It's a victory for everyone!"

As news conference attendees exited the room, they received freshly printed brochures with "Before" and "After" weight loss success stories on the front and the panel's talking points on the back. Confused reporters who asked for evidence to support the "remarkable coincidence" were quickly escorted from the building.

So far, the reaction to the announcement appears mixed.

Sales of weight loss products are up 1100%. Celebrities who appeared in print advertisements or television commercials for popular weight loss products were among the most confused. "I still get paid for the endorsement, right?" asked one unnamed rock star. Doctors and dieticians who endorsed diet supplements have remained silent since the announcement. None responded to our request for comment.

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Spoofed News Report

Some of the fake testimonials posted on social media are as easy to spot as the spoofed news report you just read. But it becomes more challenging when the most respected online news sources, magazines, and television networks feature products with outrageous claims.

These outlets have advertised products that were later found to have violated FTC Truth in Lending rules. Some product companies were required to pay refunds for deceptive advertising practices, paid multimillion dollar settlement claims, or both. Sadly, several of these products are still advertised through reputable sources today.

Apparently, RedBull® doesn't really "give you wings". Sensa® food sprinkles are as effective as pixie dust. And, 5-Hour Energy® shots miss the mark with their inability to substantiate product claims.

But, as a smart consumer, you already know you should approach marketing messages with healthy skepticism, right?

And you do your research before accepting marketing claims, right?

And you always telling yourself, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is!"

Right?